Hip Mom Selling Original, Homemade, All Natural Toddler on Etsy

Infertile hipsters from across the country flocked to Etsy this week to bid on the newest creative collaboration between Shea and River Olson.

Brooklyn is a project they began early into their relationship and now, two years later, they feel it’s finally time to share their creation. “I never thought about selling my work, it was just something I did for me,” said Shea. “But my husband convinced me that I was too talented to keep my gifts from the world.”

Brooklyn was created without any artificial flavors, chemicals or medicines, and runs on a mixture of organic quinoa, black beans, locally grown vegetables and eggs from their urban chicken coup. “Everything on the market is so tainted by plastic, chemicals, gluten, you name it!” said Shea. “It’s important to me that my creations are something people can feel good about having in their homes.”

Like many products on the site, Brooklyn has several customization options. The prototype has long auburn hair, but customers can choose from a Jesus-style mane, modest man bun, undercut with top not, pompadour, or classic undercut style. Prospective buyers Lu and Alastair James say this is what sold them on the piece. “Everything is so mass produced and generic these days,” said Lu. “With Brooklyn, you really feel like you’re getting a one of a kind toddler made just for you.” Parents are also encouraged to specify the types of music he’ll listen to in the coming weeks, to ensure that he arrives with the vibe they envisioned.

Prospective buyers can choose to upgrade to the Brooklyn Deluxe edition, which includes three pairs of jeans in various states of distress, a reversible beanie, a pair of size 2 Doc Martins, a tiny leather jacket, two cable-knit sweaters and an assortment of ironic graphic onesies. Bidding is expected to close at the end of the month.